Today my light will be extinguished…but my memory will live on. You will question yourself forever as to why you simply let me go. Right now I ask myself why wasn’t I ever enough for you? A simple soul, I required nothing but your love. Money, estate and fame could never warm my heart the way you did…at least in my mind.
My poor, delusional mind. That I could have actually thought I was capable of being loved, was such a mistake.Me? Special? ….’So amazing’ you once said. Such lies.
When others demanded your time you gave it freely. When they took advantage, you did not mind. When they slandered me, you willingly accepted it without question. And yet…you are the man I chose to love. They say fools are happy, but sadly I am not.
Today, I will awaken from my dying dream. I will release you from the mental bonds with which I had you entwined. You are free to be with whomever you choose. Not that she will bring you any peace…nor will I ever again. For in the wretched flame of desire, I see only your reflection. Only a man I had craved and prayed for everyday…for nothing.
I have deserved the best but got very little. Not barely enough to comfort me when I cried into my pillow for you. Not even close enough to make me feel wanted. You always lured me in, just to toss me back out without warning.
Be gone then. Since you seem to know so much about what’s good for my life, go on. I’ll stand here with the bitter truth obliterating what’s left of my esteem. Tearing at the shattered heart that is broken beyond repair. Cementing the fact that the ones who love truest, are destined to die from heartbreak over and over again. I have brought so much happiness to others, yet I await my own.
They say God is love, so perhaps it is time to meet my Maker and finally have the one thing I have searched for all my life.
The girl you knew is gone…There is nothing left for you to damage.
(c) 2017, Donna Philip, All rights reserved